October 4

Okay, I'm going to start this column by saying that I am not gay. I am cool with the gays, but I am not the gay.
The reason I offer this disclaimer is that I get enough grief, from the woman that I've impregnated on several occasions, about my enjoyment of euro-disco music, Judas Priest, and Coldplay. (Either she finds my tastes in music very annoying, there's something wrong with my technique, or she's not telling me something.) And preparing today's column with her taunts in the back of my head has got me censuring myself.
So, Happy Birthday, Chris Lowe of the Pet Shop Boys. Happy Birthday, Jon Secada. Ain't got time for you today, guys.

Instead, we're shining a light on Juka, the Japanese Goth-rock vocalist (as opposed to Juka, the West African zouk-pop crooner; that's what you were thinking, right?) To get everybody else up to speed, Japan's Juka is an icon in the Visual Kei movement, which is symphonic metal performed in neo-Romanticism cosplay wardrobes. It's like the characters from a Final Fantasy video game picked up guitars and attempted to rock.
Here's Juka, singing in the Hizaki Grace Project, during their 2007 "Node of Scherzo" concert. Juka's the one that looks like the Goblin King from "Labyrinth"...

Okay, the one of the left that looks like the Goblin King.

Happy Birthday to actor Bill Fagerbakke, who has made a living from speaking for the non-smart. He starred opposite Craig T Nelson in the sitcom "Coach", as the intellectually challenged assistant coach. He played the very challenged Tom Cullen in the TV version of "Stephen King's The Stand." But you know him for voicing Patrick Star, best friend of Spongebob Squarepants. If you need to voice a character that makes Spongebob look like the smart one, go with a professional.

Meanwhile, the dude does Shakespeare and Ibsen onstage. Now, who's the Philistine?

Celebrating a quarter century on the planet is Lena Katina, the redhead from Russia's biggest band ever, tATu. tATu the band's stalled for the time being - no word on an American release for the third album, no release date for the movie "Finding tATu" - so it looks like each girl's going the solo route. According to her website, Lena's already made the trip to L.A., and laid down a couple of tracks.
I'd like to give her the benefit of a doubt, so I'm sharing this fanvid of the tATu track, "Yugoslavia", featuring Lena's vocals, all by their lonesome.


Today's one-hit wonder is Phillipe Russo, who made it on the French charts in the 80's with the track, "Magie Noire" (translation: "Black Magic") It sounds exactly what 80's dance rock should sound like: the soundtrack to a training montage in a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie...

Seriously, filmmakers, if you want to out-Tarantino Tarantino, grab this song...

Finally, a very Happy Birthday to the awe-inspiring Susan Sarandon. And I'm not saying this because of her Oscar-winning turn in "Dead Man Walking" or her seminal performance in "Thelma and Louise". I'm not saying this because she embodied the concept of the MILF before anybody invented the word. I'm not saying this because she married Prince Humperdinck in the 60's and lived to tell the tale. I'm not even saying this because I filmed a scene with her (and 200 other extras) in the Academy Award nominated "Lorenzo's Oil".
No, it's all about Janet Weiss, and the movie that changed my life. Here's her musical number in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show":

Look for her later this year in "The Lovely Bones", and sometime next year in "Wall Street 2"

Two redheads in one column; it's a good day...